WRITING A LETTER TO YOUR FUTURE SELF

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Apr 24, 2025

What you’re about to read is a letter I wrote to myself six months ago when I was starting my first job post-grad. I had no intention of sharing with the world when I wrote it, though it resonated upon reading more than I ever could have expected.

If you are interested in sharing a letter to your future self, I HIGHLY recommend. I can hardly put into words how it made me feel upon reading. Here’s the link at FutureMe.com.

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For context, I had just finished two books which inspired me and some of the contents of this letter - A Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, and It Takes What It Takes by Trevor Moawad.

I will provide some candid updates at the letter’s end.

This letter is probably the most raw piece of writing I’ve shared to date. I hope you enjoy.

October 24, 2024

Dear Tristan,

I hope this message finds you well. I am writing today to check in and inspire your spiritual growth.

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You have recently come to terms with what discipline means. You are also exploring the concept of love. The goal here is to use these, again, as avenues for spiritual growth.

Discipline: "A system of techniques of dealing constructively with the pain of problem solving-in such a way that all of life's problem's can be solved". They are as follows: delayed gratification, assumption of responsibility, dedication to truth or reality, and balancing.

After some internal discussion, you believe the most important and relevant domains for my current status are delaying gratification and balancing; but there is room for improvement in all of these areas.

You are about to start a job as a health coach. You plan to coach tennis in March, with focus on the mental side of performance. You also have a dream of attaining higher education in the form of a doctorate degree and eventually working with athletes on a clinical basis. The latter requires a great deal of preparation, as do they all. They also require a great deal of patience. And a great deal of commitment. You've had a load of free time in these past 2 months. To be blunt, you f**cked off for most of the internship this Summer. You compensated, not liking the feeling of hard work sans positive results. Without a positive feedback loop, you fell into old habits which dug the 'hole' into your mental health deeper. You are afraid of the same thing happening in this new position. You have to realize the greater goal here, and defining that is important. For starters, you are to be challenged in this role as a health coach, and you hold the job down regardless. You understand your purpose within the organization and you do good work. It's gratifying work. This will inherently have challenges. The hours are long. You might have control issues when people are not going out of their way to be better. Ultimately you are working "for" someone else. But you stay steadfast in your value proposition. This value proposition will lead you through your career and has everything to do with defining what is controllable and what is not. YOUR JOB IS ADDING TO THEIR MINDSET AND THEIR HABITS. The result on the scale or the court is not something you are responsible for.

On balancing. Let go of the parts of yourself which no longer serve you. Also related to delaying gratification, for much of your adolescent and adult life, you have gotten quick results. Whether it is betting on sports and having immediate feedback or having exam grades back within a week, you have become accustomed to short term hits of success or failure. It's time to let go of this. At one point, it served you. Now you practice patience and understand that consistent effort is important, regardless of the result on hand. You have a neutral mindset. Not too positive, but certainly not too negative. Negative mindset works 100% of the time. You realize that starting up 40hr work week starting the day at 8am has its set backs. You won't be able to work out whenever you please anymore. It takes discipline to achieve your goals. Working out is a non-negotiable for you. You've also clearly expressed the morning is your preferred time to exercise, and you enjoy having time to yourself before 'working for someone else'. The factory default here is to wake up when it's time to work, but it does not have to be that way. It takes what it takes. It takes 5:30 alarms and turning the lights on. Even if you don't feel like it. It takes being rigid with sleep, locking in a solid 8 hours. It takes being efficient when you DO have some free time. Just let go of the old version of yourself if it no longer serves you. This will be relevant in 6 months, in 6 years, and in 60 years.

Choose to let go of the version of yourself that puts off work until the last minute. Let go of the need to control external events. You can control your mindset, your habits, and your preparation. Let go of the need to be perfect. You can't perfect things without 1000 hours first. Let go of the fear of failure. As a commitment to truth, you do not live in a fantasy land.

The new job comes with new responsibility, and inherent hardships. You know this. And ultimately it's what you want right now. It's the best thing in front of you. So give it your all. It is only the beginning. When in doubt, choose to love.

What happened between then and now?

I’m not only proud of where my head was at then - but also proud of where my head is at now - and where my vision for the future stands.

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Two months ago, I was let go from this work at the clinic. I spent 4 months there, and feel strongly that my time there was time well spent. The reason for my release was not performance based.

And now that I’ve had the luxury of time on my side, I am putting more energy and effort than ever into my dream:

“You also have a dream of attaining higher education in the form of a doctorate degree and eventually working with athletes on a clinical basis.”

I am connecting daily and having candid conversations with professionals in this field. I am researching graduate programs that fit my interests and situation most closely. I am working alongside a high school tennis team - and the kids leave me in awe with their awareness, willingness to express emotion, and capacity to grow.

They’ve inspired me to keep pushing toward this dream.

Nonetheless, it is frustrating process because it takes time. The urge to have everything figured out NOW is palpable. And as I noted six short months ago, it’s time to let go of this need of instant gratification.

“…you have become accustomed to short term hits of success or failure. It's time to let go of this. At one point, it served you. Now you practice patience and understand that consistent effort is important, regardless of the result on hand.”

To conclude, I will share these words once more, as it not only applies to career, but whatever lies ahead:

“This new job comes with new responsibility, and inherent hardships. You know this. And ultimately it's what you want right now. It's the best thing in front of you. So give it your all. It is only the beginning. When in doubt, choose to love.”

Let’s have a day,

Tristan