What the In-Between Feels Like

Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in between

Dear reader,

I almost wrote a formal, structured introduction for this piece. A neat conclusion to tie everything together.

But something pulled me elsewhere.

Not everything needs a perfect little bow. Letting go of that need feels like freedom.

Lately, life has been a whole lot of in-betweenness. And my Judge has been loud:

You’re not doing enough.
You have to.
You must.

This voice is unkind, untrue, and frankly, unacceptable.

There’s another voice:

I get to.

What if this voice steered the ship?

I get to treat myself to a cup of coffee today
—or three.

I get to express myself today however I like
—dwelling, writing, laughing.

I get to give the gift of letting a friend support me
—or showing up when they need me.

I get the experience of a wide range of emotion,
experiencing sorrow and loss
just as much as joy and delight.

Maybe in-betweenness is part of it. Maybe you don’t need to rush to the next thing. Maybe trusting the process is enough.

---

In Between

This short meditation, shared by Melody Beattie in her book The Language of Letting Go, puts words to this feeling better than I can at the moment:

“Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in between.

One of the hardest parts [of recovery] is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar, but what we don't want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for God to fill them.

This may apply to feelings. We may have been full of hurt and anger. In some ways, these feelings may have become comfortably familiar. When we finally face and relinquish our grief, we may feel empty for a time. We are in between pain and the joy of serenity and acceptance.

Being in between can apply to relationships. To prepare ourselves for the new, we need to first let go of the old. This can be frightening. We may feel empty and lost for a time. We may feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us for letting go of the proverbial bird in hand, when there is nothing in the bush.

Being in between can apply to many areas of life and recovery. We can be in between jobs, careers, homes, or goals. We can be in between behaviors as we let go of the old and are not certain what we will replace it with. This can apply to behaviors that have protected and served us well all of our life, such as caretaking and controlling.

We may have many feelings going on when we're in between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what's ahead. These are normal feelings for the in between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.

Being in between isn't fun, but it's necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we're standing still, but we're not. We're standing at the in between place. It's how we get from here to there. It is not the destination.

We are moving forward, even when we're in between.

Today, I will accept where I am as the ideal place for me to be. If I am in between, I will strive for the faith that this place is not without purpose, that it is moving me toward something good.”

---

And so I leave you with this:

Can you trust that where you are has meaning—even if you don’t see it yet?

If this resonated with you, stick around.

About Tristan

Tristan is a National Board-Certified Health & Wellness Coach (NB-HWC) with a background in psychology, neuroscience, and behavior change. He supports balance body and mind for a life of longevity and joy—grounded in evidence-based research and genuine support.

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